Finding Yourself Again: Discovering Sexuality or Gender After Divorce

Huge life experiences such as divorce can lead to personal growth and self-discovery; for some, this journey may involve exploring their sexuality or gender identity, and for some, divorce comes as a result of changes in sexual preferences or gender identity. If you're feeling a shift in your understanding of yourself or your sexuality, here are some steps to help you navigate this process:

1. Acknowledge and Explore Your Feelings: Pay attention to any emerging feelings or thoughts about your sexuality or gender identity. Give yourself space to explore these emotions without judgment, speak with trusted friends or family members, or seek counsel with a mental health professional or coach. Journalling your experiences can be a useful tool to review your journey into knowing your true self and help to remove feelings of systematic guilt and shame.

2. Educate Yourself: If you have started developing a change in sexuality or your gender identity then finding out more about who you are can be liberating. There are countless LGBTQ+ resources available online, in books, and through support groups found both online and in person. Understanding the terminology and experiences of others can help you better understand your own feelings and find peace in your new identity.

3. Seek Support: Connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can create positive and lasting connections. Joining a support group or online community can provide a sense of belonging, validation and in turn, gain new social groups and relationships. There are support groups of all shapes and sizes for LGBTQ+ individuals, in a variety of intersectional capacities, such as for age groups, ethnic backgrounds, and disabilities.

4. Consider Professional Help: A therapist or counsellor can offer a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings and identity. They can also provide guidance and tools to help you navigate this process; assisting in any underlying mental health issues or concerns.

5. Experiment and Explore: Give yourself permission to experiment and explore your sexuality or gender identity. This might involve trying new things, dating differently, or changing your appearance. When it comes to exploring gender, social transitioning is usually the first step, finding ways of feeling good in your body through clothing and trans-inclusive accessories such as binders, tucking pants and packers. It’s vital to stay safe during this time, seek medical advice before starting any form of hormonal or surgical treatment, and research best practices for managing body dysmorphia.

6. Be Patient with Yourself: Discovering your sexuality or gender identity is a personal journey that takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to explore at your own pace, making sure to be kind and practice regular self-reflection.

7. Embrace Your Authenticity: Once you've started your journey of self-discovery, embrace your authenticity with confidence, don’t be afraid to make mistakes along the way and learn from them. This is a very personal journey and only you can know your own, but share this with others and surround yourself with people who support and accept you for who you are.

If you’re going through a period of self-discovery and need some help exploring sexuality, gender, or other sex and relationship fascets, SexologyUK can help you get started with a free 20-minute consultation using code FORUM to get your journey started.

Contact us via Calendly here.

Or to visit our website, click here.